Dark Heart Unafraid
Darkness threatens to surround me, swallow my concious whole.
I can no longer feel the breeze on my face or the sand beneath my toes.
I try to push my monster back, keep them in the shadows from which they came.
But the evil that spawned them is after me again.
Let me live, let me be free, let me exist without this crutch.
Let my deams be nightmare free, just one night out of a month.
Let me not be afraid to be happy. Or live in fear that it will all be stripped away.
Get off my back dark demons. Leave me free to love unafraid.
For even though I realize not all love brings pain. Let me be to believe it, so I can be happy once again.
Foul creatures you have broke me, shattered me undone. But slowly I rebuild me, bit by bit, by bone.
Because don't I deserve to be happy, my young soul so brutally aged.
You've taken so much just give me for once the courage to love unafraid
Don't strain your brain trying to get inside my head, it's far to complex for mortal comprehension.
It's been shaped and formed and edges worn and molded by unseen hands.
So many so that even I don't know where the tally of influence now stands.
I've been the lost little girl trapped inside herself looking out at everyone through numbness.
And the dark brooding child with pain as her guide screaming at the world for salvation from the tempest.
I've been wanton and uncaring, unloving of my own body giving it to anyone who chose to ask for it.
I've been oh so alone in a caring loving home with the person that loves me best never really knowing me at all.
A meek timid mouse is what the world see's as my guise, but behind closed doors my fire burns bright.
I've been a victim,a perpetrator, a friend, a foe, a lover of life, a hater of light.
I've been a mans woman. And a womans girl.
I have inside me the scholar and the proverbial class clown.
I have more balls than some men wearing my queenly crown.
I am the lady in the street and the freak in the bed that men hope to find.
I am a loving mother and a trusted friend ride or die to the very end.
I am me. Multi-layered and ultra-dimensioned. An enigma to myself.
So don't tax your mind trying to find me.
Some days I can't find myself.